Dating Isn’t Broken—Hookup Culture Broke It

Published on 9 September 2025 at 22:41

Old-fashioned.” “Prude.” “Stuck in the past.

Yep—that’s what I was called back in my New York dating days when I dared to say hookup culture was going to backfire.

But here’s the thing: I wasn’t clutching pearls for the fun of it. I could see the writing on the wall. Women were proudly declaring, “We can sleep around just like men—it’s feminism!” But I knew deep down this wasn’t empowerment. It was a trap.

Why I Raged Against Hookup Culture (And Still Do)

Commitment before intimacy: I believed, and still believe, that giving your body should come with a man giving you clarity, respect, and commitment. Otherwise, it’s just crumbs dressed up as cake.
The illusion of equality: Sure, women could hook up like men. But the consequences weren’t the same. Men walked away unscathed, while women often ended up with heartbreak, wasted time, and no ring in sight.
The “league” problem: Let’s be real—some women used sex as currency to attract men who never saw them as long-term partners. It wasn’t a match; it was a transaction. And transactions expire.

The Collateral Damage: Women Who Said “No”

Here’s the kicker—even women who didn’t participate in hookup culture got caught in the fallout.

Because men became so used to easy access, casual sex, and one-night stands, many no longer saw commitment as necessary. Why buy the cow, as the old saying goes, when the whole farm seems to be free?

So, women who held firm to their values often struggled longer to find a man who would take them seriously. Some stayed single well into their 30s and 40s—not because they weren’t worthy, but because the dating pool had been rewired. Many of them eventually married later in life, but only after weathering years of frustration and being overlooked.

The Fallout We’re Seeing Today

Fast-forward, and what do we have? A generation of women—many fabulous, beautiful, and accomplished—left single, frustrated, and wondering why lasting love never came.

Because hookup culture sold us a lie.

It said giving away intimacy without commitment was power. But real power comes from knowing your worth and setting the standard, not lowering it.

The Empowering Truth for Women 40+

The good news? It’s not too late to flip the script. Whether single, child-free, or in a situationship you’re outgrowing, you can reclaim your value today. Stop settling for swipe-right scraps. Demand the banquet.

You’re not “old-fashioned.” You’re timeless. And setting boundaries? That’s not prudish—it’s premium.

✨ Ready to reclaim your energy and attract love that lasts? Read more empowering posts on FortyPlusAndChildFree.com and discover how to build the relationships—and the life—you actually deserve.

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